看着别人过生日内心里还是很感动的,毕竟是一个曾经也过生日的人对还在过生日的人的祝福。生命中的每一天可以说都是平等的:)

Anthony: I'll be the fist.
Elias: I'll be the brain.
Anthony: Fist keeps harm away from the brain.
Elias: Brain makes the fist pass away without pain.
R.I.P Scarface

他峹她荼:


在西方误传的汉语中有三句诅咒。


“May you live in interesting times”


“May you come to the attention of those in authority. ”


“May you find what you are looking for”

“祝君生于乱世;
祝君触犯强权;
祝君如愿以偿。”


人生有三大悲剧,
生于乱世排在第三,
触犯强权排在第二,
居在榜首的是如愿以偿。

被利用就是价值体现。

我以为自己已经不需要浪费时间和别人聊天,自己能默默消化所有的事情了。但我发现还远远不够。我还不够忍耐。

Oliver Goldsmith(奥利弗·戈德史密斯)
《An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog》(疯狗的挽歌)

Good people all, of every sort,
Give ear unto my song;
And if you find it wondrous short,
It cannot hold you long. In Islington there was a man,
Of whom the world might say
That still a godly race he ran,
Whene'er he went to pray. A kind and gentle heart he had,
To comfort friends and foes;
The naked every day he clad,
When he put on his clothes. And in that town a dog was found,
As many dogs there be,
Both mongrel, puppy, whelp and hound,
And curs of low degree. This dog and man at first were friends;
But when a pique began,
The dog, to gain some private ends,
Went mad and bit the man. Around from all the neighbouring streets
The wondering neighbours ran,
And swore the dog had lost his wits,
To bite so good a man. The wound it seemed both sore and sad
To every Christian eye;
And while they swore the dog was mad,
They swore the man would die. But soon a wonder came to light,
That showed the rogues they lied:
The man recovered of the bite,
The dog it was that died.

接上文
the lofts in soho,from the tenements in Alphabet city to the brownstones in Park Slope to the split-levels in Staten Island, let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage ,let it burn to fucking ash,and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole art-infested place.
  No,Fuck you,Montgomery Brogan.You had it all,and you threw it away,you dumb fuck!

 fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it
  fuck the panhandlers grubbing for money,
  smiling at me behind my back.
  Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car.
  Get a fucking job.
  Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs,curry steaming out their pores,stinking up my day.
  Terrorists in fucking training.Slow the fuck down!
  getting one of those operations that elongate your penis.
  Fuck the Chelsea Boys with their waxed chests and pumped-up biceps, going down on each other in my parks and on my piers,jiggling their dicks on my Channel 35!
  Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic .
  Ten yeras in the country,still no speakee English.
  Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach.
  Mobster thugs sitting in cafes,sipping tea in little glasses,sugar cubes between their teeth,wheelin'
  and dealin' and schemin'.
  Go back where you fucking came from.
  Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim strolling up and down 47th Street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff,selling South African apartheid diamonds.
  Come on.Your wife deserves this.
  Fuck the Wall Street brokers.
  Self-styled masters of the universe.
  Michael Douglas-Gordon Gekko wannabe motherfuckers figuring out new ways to rob hardworking people blind.
  Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life.
  You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit?
  Give me a fucking break.
  Fuck the Puerto Ricans.
  Twenty to a car,swelling up the welfare rolls.
  worst fucking parade in the city.
  And don't even get me started on the Dominicans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
  Who's this fuckin' guy?! Get the fuck outta here!
  Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair,their nylon warm-up suits,their St.anthony medallions,swinging their Jason Giambi Louisville Slugger baseball bats trying to audition for "The Sopranos."
  Fuckin' crack your fuckin' head open !
  Bensonhurst!bensonhurst!
  Fuck the Upper EAst Side wives wth their Hermes scarves and their $50 Balducci artichoke.
  Taxi!
  Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched all taut and shiny.
  You're not fooling anybody,sweetheart.
  Taxi!
  Fuck the Uptown brothers.
  They never pass the ball,they don't want to play defense,they take five steps on every layup to the hoop,and then they want to turn around and blame evrything on the white man.
  We not giving it up!
  We not giving it up!
  slavery ended 137 years ago.
  Move the fuck on.
  Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus-violating plungers
  and their 41 shots,standing behind a blue wall of silence.
  You betray our trust!
  Fuck the priests who put their hands sown some innocent child's pants.
  Fuck the church that protects them,delivering us into evil.And while you're at it,fuck J.C.
  He got off easy-- a day on the cross ,a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity.Try seven years in fucking Otisville,J.
  FUck Osama bin Laden ,AI Qaeda,and backward-ass cave-dwelling fundamentalist assholes everywhere.
  On the names of innoceant thousands murdered,I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your 72 whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell.You towel-headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass.
  "I notice how many of what Ionce thought
  "were evidences of repression ,sexual or otherwis.."
  fuck Jacob Elinsky.
  Whinin malcontent.
  Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend,judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.
  Fuck Naturelle Riviera.I gave her my trust, and she stabbed me in the back.Sold me up the river.Fucking bitch.
  Fuck my father with his endless grief,standing behind that bar,sipping on club soda,selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
  ALL:Let's go ,Yankees!   Fuck this whole city and everyone in it,from the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avevue,from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in soho,from the tenements in Alphabet city to the brownstones in Park Slope to the split-levels in Staten Island, let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage ,let it burn to fucking ash,and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole art-infested place.   No,Fuck you,Montgomery Brogan.You had it all,and you threw it away,you dumb fuck!

《你还要我怎样》鲨美 单箭头虐梗

“We have sex every morning…”Michael看着屏幕里的James一本正经的开着黄腔,无奈的转头注视着窝在沙发另一头笑的坏坏的James,“你一定要把我那天早上睡觉不小心翻身抱到你的事实说成这样么?”James满不在乎的坐直身子,探身拿起茶几上的果汁灌了一口,舔舔嘴唇目光中带着兴奋,“观众们爱看这个,事实上,他们简直爱死了。”Michael一瞬不瞬的凝视着身边那人专注的时候蓝色的眸子里灵动的倒影,他的手忽然不受控制的抬起,想去触摸这近在咫尺的,却在刚离开沙发布料三厘米时猛地惊醒,手指在混有烟尘的空气中微微痉挛,半晌,他放下手,迎着James疑惑的眼光,笑着赞同的开口:“你说的对。”


“Michael,这里是James,我和Mary下个月就要结婚了,请柬我已经寄给你了,你这个工作狂记得下个月跑档期时可一定要给我空出时间啊!另外我给你找的伴娘你一定会满意的,bye,pel!嘟嘟…”留言已经结束,挂机的忙音在稀薄的空气中游走,Michael却忘记放下手中的电话。一股难言的疲惫感从手臂上传来,沿着自己的血管蔓延到胸膛,又顺着脊柱冲下腰部,他摇晃了一下,连忙扶着桌脚。清晨微凉的阳光从厚重的窗帘里挤了进来,轻轻的覆住他棱角分明的鼻和唇,他木然的转头直视全身镜里的自己,面无表情。
他就这么握着电话,一步一挪的来到信箱前,却发现自己没拿邮箱钥匙,看着满是涂鸦的铁皮信箱,他攥紧了手中的电话,转身回屋,放任那份浪漫的痛苦在黑暗中潜藏的更久,等到不可退却之时再去面对也还来得及。Michael脸上不禁浮现出一丝笑容,自己没带邮箱钥匙果然是对的。想了想又拿起电话会拨给了James,录音开始后,他沉默了三秒钟,在胸中挣扎的挤出几丝欣喜,开口:我等着一天等的太久了,随时有空。my friend。
挂了电话,随手扔在床上,Michael看了看脚下还没收拾好的旅行箱,梦呓般的重复了一遍:我等的太久了。
距离离开的一个月正式进入了倒计时。


“Michael!等一下!该死的,别上那辆巴士!”James在雨中一边狂奔一边挥着手对不远处公交车站里正准备上车的身影用力的嘶吼,Michael迈出的左腿僵在了空中,雨水瞬间打湿了礼服的裤脚,感受到了脚上传来的凉意,他叹了口气转头注视着那个他梦中幻想过无数次的身影在向他奔来。下一刻,James冲进了公交车站,还未站稳便弯下腰大口喘着粗气,他的新郎礼服已经完全湿透,精心用发胶打理的头发也湿答答的贴在前额上,遮住了那双蓝的几近原罪的双眼,雨水贴着脸颊流到唇角,随着他沉重的呼气被打成水雾,湿透的衣服贴在他缺乏锻炼而微微有肉的背上,蝴蝶骨微微顶出,在Michael看来此时的他是那么的瘦弱。James挣扎着直起身,混乱的气息让他的胸口剧烈的起伏,他的眼睛里充满的难以置信,红润的嘴唇有些苍白,“Michael你怎么了?我在酒会上找了好久也没看见你,门童说你往这边来了我就追了过来,发生什么,Michael?”Michael没有回答,只是放任自己炽热的目光在面前那张他朝思暮想的脸庞上第一次也是最后一次侵略着,试图将他的一丝一毫全部烙印在心底,他抬手想去拥抱面前的那人,但手臂却鬼使神差的搂上了身边等车的一位女士,接下来说的话连他自己都无法相信:“我恋爱了,在你的婚礼上我遇到了之前一见钟情的姑娘,我害怕再失去她,只好提前下手了,sorry,James。为我的不辞而别。”一瞬间Michaels觉得自己和这具身躯失去了联系,只能徒劳的看着眼前的James惊喜的大叫,坏坏的皱着眉头一边擂这他的前胸,一边嘴里跑出一大对他听不懂得苏格兰方言,而自己的手臂好像捶了对方几下作为回应,安静了一会,James脸上露出了真诚的相容,走上来拥抱了他一下。Michael瞬间回神,刚想去回抱那触手可及的柔软,却只摸到了对方后退是礼服飘起的前襟。他才听到,James说:“你的婚礼我一定参加。”
“不!不要!”Michael突然很激烈的抗议,声音大的吓了吓了两人一跳,James尴尬的搓搓手,小声的打趣到:“fine,fine,那我就不打扰了。”Michael恨不得甩自己一个嘴巴,慌乱的解释道:“事实上,是…”他求助的看了一眼身边无辜的女士,那个女孩翻了个白眼,还是接口:“Lily…”“是Lily希望婚礼上只有两家的亲人,要知道,她喜欢安静点。my apologize. dude.”James却早已恢复了平日里和他一起访谈时的古灵精怪,拉着Lily问东问西,Michael只能在一边用眼神感谢着这位雪中送炭的姑娘,然后收到了一个“没关系”的眼神。
下一班巴士停在一个街区外的十字路口,Michael的眼神一点点的灰暗下去,他把手伸进口袋,摸到了自己的手机,按照他演练了无数次的指法找到了那首他听过无数次的歌。那首他曾经无意中提起的最爱的歌。

Oh,you can hear me cry
See my dreams all die
From where you're standing
On your own.
It's so quiet here
And I feel so cold
This house no longer
Feels like home.
Oh,when you told me you'd leave
I felt like I couldn't breath
My aching body fell to the floor
Then I called you at home
You said that you weren't alone
I should've known better
Now it hurts much more.
You caused my heart to bleed and
You still owe me a reason
I can't figure out why...
Why I'm alone and freezing
While you're in the bed that she's in
I'm just left alone to cry.
哀伤的女生混着微凉的雨,让三个人不由得陷入了沉默,James忍不住闭上眼,陶醉的摇动着指尖,在空气中划着节奏,“太美了…不过Michael,你再不接电话就要接不到了。”Michael装作恍然大悟拿出自己的手机,尴尬的笑了笑,按动了屏幕上的暂停键,放在耳边,“Hello?Hello?…没人说话。这真是太奇怪了。”James惋惜的摊开手,“谁叫你接电话这么慢的。”然后偏过头去,对凝视着michael的Lily调侃道:“他以前可不是这样的,之前Hugh跟我说他为了接我的电话,掏的太急了差点把手机扔到马桶里。哈哈哈…”James开心的笑了起来,丝毫没有注意到Michael面上几近崩溃的悲伤,“不过这首歌当作咱们分别的背景音乐我还是很喜欢的,Michael。”Michael望了望他,极力的隐藏着眼中的泪水,嘴角一弯:“你喜欢就好。”车子缓缓在他们面前停下,Michael搂住Lily的肩膀,Lily也很顺从的靠在他身上,两人就像天生一对的绝配依偎在一起上了车,Michael还很绅士的卖了两张票。James在车下满意的朝他的好友点点头,在Lily 看不到的角度竖起了大拇指,Michael呆呆的盯着一脸雨水却盖不住为老友满脸欣慰的James,嘴唇微张,一句无法说出的话就要冲出口中,却别他大力的攥了一下扶手而憋了回去。最终,车门缓缓的合上,车子晃动了一下离开了车站,门外的James小跑了几步跟上车门的玻璃,双手拢在嘴上冲Michael大吼:“See ye!”Michael把额头贴在玻璃上,看着渐渐被巴士甩在后面的James,嘴唇喃喃的蠕动:“Goodbye.”玻璃窗上不断低落的雨水,让所有乘客都以为这个人的脸上只是不小心沾上了一些。Lily却轻轻的握住了他垂下了一只手,温柔的拍着,Michael还是没忍住,蜷缩起自己一米八四的身高蹲在她的面前哭的像个失去玩具的孩子。 James,答应我,我婚礼的现场,你不要来。

漫天大雨下不过我对你的心情。

Michael很庆幸在这段禁断的单恋里,他克制的很好,很好。只不过几次碰手,几次拥抱。甚至连一个真实的亲吻都不曾有过。他最后娶了那个叫Lily的女孩,一年之后便分手了。他也说不上来原因,就是不想再装下去了。与其让他委屈的忍受着一段不合适得恋情,不如让他一辈子沉沦在那段痛到麻木的单恋,永不醒来。 其实,他也不曾醒来。事实上,他和james隔的也不远,不过一个是飞鸟,一个是海鱼。一个不曾爱过,一个不曾停过。

觉得这世界上最动听的情话莫过于:当年你写我的名字的字迹,我依稀记得。